Kitties, Clones and David, Oh My!
by Axel-Seme
Summary: Aixlana and Doctor fluff for my Roxas-Uke. Includes David and kittens!


This is an extremely late piece of work for my very own Roxas-Uke. I love you, dear, and I am soooooo sorry this is so late. This is your Christmas/New Year's/Valentine's Day/BECAUSE-I-LOVE-YOU present. Hope it doesn't make you realize how horrible a writer I am.

Things you should know before you read this story if you aren't in the know:

Aixlana is Saix and Xemnas' first child.  
Margaret is about as tall as a barbie doll and also has some robotic parts. Yay cyborgs.

This is a Doctor Who/Torchwood and Kingdom Hearts crossover. If you don't know The Doctor, Captain Jack, the TARDIS, then go look them up on Wiki. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, Torchwood, or Kingdom Hearts. My Roxas-Uke owns Aixlana and Xakhar. I own Margaret. And she and I own David. But she owns him more. : P

Kitties, Clones and David, Oh My!

Our story starts out one very cold day on a planet whose name cannot be spelled in romanized characters. The TARDIS sits upon a small hill, snow gently floating from the vast violet sky. Outside of the TARDIS, little noise disturbs the peace, save for the muted hustle and bustle from a small town several miles away. Inside the TARDIS, however...

"Oh, Jack, don't be such a _baby_!" Aixlana cracked her knuckles, looking at the machine in front of her. "Now go and catch Xigy so I can fire this bad boy up." She grinned in a way that could only be called mischievous and licked her lips.

Jack groaned, making a face of strong dislike. "But 'Lana, that little Demon Cat _hates_ me. You can't possibly mean for me to get near him, could you?"

Aixlana rolled her eyes. "Well, then you'd better get him over to me as fast as you can, so you don't have to spend time with my little _Demon Cat_, right? Now hurry up. I want to get this don't before _he_ gets back." She frowned, scanning the room with her yellow eyes as if to make sure the man was really absent.

Jack looked aroundand scratched his head, searching for Xigy. "Why do you need to clone this thing anyways? Can't you just be happy with one?"

Aixlana glared at him for calling her darling pet a 'thing.' "Of course I am! But if I love **one** this much, think about how much I'll love **four more**!" She smiled, sparkles in er eyes.

"And you couldn't ask the Doctor to help you, _why_?" He frowned again, still searching. "At least the little gremlin _tolerates_ him." He looked under a desk, sighing when there was no kitten to be found.

Aixlana snorted. "Are you kidding me?" She turned some knobs on the machine, then pressed a button. "He'd never let me do it. one Xigy's enough to get on his nerves." She turned toward him, hands on her hips. "Now shut up and bring me my kitty!"

"I'm looking!" Jack grunted in frustration.

A small voice came from a shelf above Jack's head. "You know, I don't think this course of action is very wise. If the Doctor wouldn't allow you to do this, think of what is going to happen when he returns." Margaret, in all her ten-inch-tall glory, sat precariously on her shelf, watching Aixlana smirk at her. She didn't know that behind a stack of books, someone was also watching her.

"Yeah, but by the time he gets back, it'll be too late, and there'll be nothing that he and his twisted knickers can do about it." She laughed.

"Twisted knickers?" Jack looked at her.

"CAT!" She pointed at him, commanding he continue his quest. He grumbled and opened some cabinets.

Margaret crossed her olive-toned arms, letting out a huff. "He's going to be angry with you." She stated matter-of-factly.

Aixlana shrugged and turned back to the machine. "Eh, whatever. He'll get over it sooner or later."

Margaret narrowed her eyes at Aixlana's back. "Your funeral. And mine, if they try to DIGEST ME."

Aixlana laughed, waving her hand. "C'mon Margaret. He just really, really likes you! He's not trying to eat you!"

Suddenly, the stack of books behind Margaret toppled over, falling on Jack's head and revealing a very happy kitten named Xigy.

"There he is!" Jack reached for him, but Xigy jumped out of reach, pouncing on Margaret, whose screech made Aixlana's ear's twitch. He licked Margaret's face, mewling happily.

"Margaret! Oh my! Are you alright?!" Jack's eyes went wide, hand flying up to him mouth.

Aixlana turned back to the commotion, eyes spying the form of Margaret trapped underneath her beloved feline, and burst into laughter.

Another scream sounded from Margaret when Xigy nuzzled her face. "Get this thing off of me!" She tried to push his head away, but her small arms were no match for his willpower.

Aixlana continued with her uncontrollable laughter, tears starting to run down her face. She clutched her side, one hand holding onto the machine for support. "THIS IS SO GREAT."

"Margaret!" Jack reached up for Xigy again, but he sunk his teeth into the collar of her shirt and dragged her to the back of the shelf, effectively putting them out of the man's reach.

Margaret would having none of this, though. As soon as those teeth left her clothes, she scrambled out from under Xigy, jumping off the side of the shelf, sliding down the pole on the side, and hit the ground running. She climbed up the material of Jack's cargo pants, jumping into his pocket.

Jack grinned. "I've got a pocket, a pocket full-a sunshine~!"

Aixlana guffawed, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Oh, god, Jack, remind me never to invite you out for karaoke."

Jack's smile fell. "But I'm a golden boy of music! You have to invite me!"

She ignored him, walking over to the shelf Xigy was moping on, sad that Margaret had left him. "Aww. It's okay, lil' boy cat. She'll warm up to you eventually! Just give her some time."

Margaret shook her little fist from her spot in Jack's pants pocket. "Oh no, I will not. And Jack, never do that again." She threw a frown up in his direction.

"Margaret!" Jack pleaded, giving her his puppy-dog eyes. "Don't be like that! You know you still love me!"

"Oh yeah, Jack. She's totally into you. I'll go reserve the honeymoon suite for you two. It's only a matter of time." She rolled her eyes, carrying Xigy to the machine while she petted him on the head.

"You really think so?" He smiled like Christmas was a day away.

"No, I don't," and "No, she doesn't" came from two directions at once. Once again, Jack's smile melted right off his face.

"Stop giving him ideas, and leave me alone!" Margaret crossed her arms and her robotic eye focused and unfocused in annoyance.

"Face it, Jack, she hates you." Aixlana turned to look at him, straight-faced.

Jack pouted. "One day..." He muttered.

Aixlana laughed again, opening the door to the first chamber on the machine, setting down Xigy, taking off his blue jingle-collar and ruffling his fur. "Now be good, lil' Xig, momma's gonna have you in and outta there as soon as possible, mk?" When he mewled in acknowledgment, she smiled and blew him a kiss, closed the door and walked back to the controls.

"Demon Cat." Margaret growled.

"He is NOT. Now Jack, come here and help me." She crooked her finger at him.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to be your accomplice!" He waved his hands in front of his face, snorting at her like she was crazy.

"Come ooooooon! I need you to help me hold this lever down. I'm sure I can find a way to pay you back later!" She winked at him.

Jack rolled his eyes, but walked over, grumbling. "Fine."

Aixlana smiled, clapping her hands together. "Alright, let's set this dial to 4...," turns a knob, "and one, two," grabs hold of the lever, Jack putting his hand on top of hers to help. "THREE! PULL!" They both yanked the lever, grunting with effort. The first chamber on the machine flashed, then the second one did the same, then whired and glowed bright, spinning around for a couple loud moments, then came to a soft stop. They all waited a breathless moment, then Aixlana's eyes widened along with her smile, and she opened the door to the first chamber, picking up a confused looking Xigy. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it, Xig?" She scratched behind his ears as she put his collar back on. He purred at her, wiggling around, and she set him down on the ground, giggling at his cuteness. "Well, here goes hoping at not being like Uncle Vexen!" She took a deep breath and opened the door to the second chamber.

Four cats sat patiently in the little area, and 'meow'ed at their "momma." She squealed with glee. "IT WORKED! IT TOTALLY WORKED!" She knelt down, opening her arms to the cloned cats, and they all scrambled up her legs into her arms, purring contentedly.

Margaret paled from her place in Jack's pocket, said man standing there with a surprised look on his face. "Huh. It actually worked."

"Of course it did!" She smiled at her new pets. "I'm a genius!"

"Right. Because it takes a genius to place a cat in a door, turn a few knobs, and pull a lever. Oh, the Amazing Aixlana!" Margaret gave a flourished bow.

"Shut up, Barbie." Aixlana snapped, then went back to fawning over her kittens. She pulled out four little collars that matched Xigy's, but in different colors. She picked them up one by one, putting the collars around their necks. "I'll call you Xallos," a green collar was buckled into place. "You'll be Xarin," a black collar. "And Xephyr," red. "And you're Xehanort!" She secured the last collar, jingling the little white bell as she let him go to play with the rest of the cats. Xarin nibbled at Xallos' ear, and Xehanort nuzzled Xigy's neck before Xigy batted him away. Aixlana squealed. "How do you guys like your names?" The kittens 'meow'-ed again, and seemed to smile at her.

Xigy prowled back to Jack's leg, pawing at his pants and looking longingly at Margaret, who backed up as far as possible, clutching the fabric. Xarin and Xehanort spied what Xigy was looking at, and they both scampered over, Xallos and Xephyr following. They all clawed at Jack's pants, mewling and bouncing. Margaret shrieked.

"Get them away from me! Aixlana! Do something this instant!"

Aixlana squealed again. "Awwwww! So cute!" She took pity on Margaret, though, and pulled out a cat food bag. "Alright, alright. Little boys, leave Auntie Margaret alone! Now who's hungry?" She waved the bag, and they turned around, immediately forgetting about Margaret and racing over to their owner, clambering up her legs to try and get their food. She laughed and walked out of the room to the kitchen, kittens at her heels like little baby ducklings.

Jack watched Margaret hyperventilate, leaning forward to get a better look at her. "Are you okay!?"

She glared at him. "NO. Now put me on a shelf. Preferably one higher up than last time." She shivered.

"Maybe you'd better stay here in my pocket." He smiled his most charming smile.

She thought for a moment. "As much as I loathe the idea, and I mean that in the very strongest sense of the word, I guess it makes sense. They can't climb you. But put me in a higher pocket." She grimaced at the idea of staying in the company of the flirtatious man.

"Why, I do believe that I do. Right here!" He picked her up and put her in his shirt pocket, grinning at her. "Better?"

"It will have to do." She crossed her arms and grumbled.

"Aw, lighten up, baby doll. There are worse things than me!"

She shook her head, but not a hair moved out of place in its bun. "No." Jack sighed. "Even the Demon Cat...s are below you. Barely, but still lower."

"You know, Margaret, I'm not kidding about how I feel-"

The door to the TARDIS burst open, a flurry of snow whirling around the form that entered before melting in the heat of the room. The Doctor threw his coat on one of the railings around the control station, then walked over to them. He held a small bag in his hand. "Guess what a certain Time Lord got!" He waved the bag in front of his face. "Genuine Merjaian ice cream! Well, not actually ice cream, not even real ice. Not even real cream, actually. More of a synthetic substitute made from... I think it's better you don't know. But you get the idea." He grinned.

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Margaret, thankful for the distraction, took the opportunity out of the direction Jack was leading the conversation. "Someone's in for it now."

Jack shook off his seriousness. "Damn, I wish I had some popcorn. This is going to be too good." He looked in the direction of the kitchen.

"What are you talking about?" The Doctor set the bag down on a table, pulling out three bowls with lids and some plastic spoons.

Jack snickered. "Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

He walked over to Jack and handed him a container and spoon. "You know, you're not making much sense." He smiled at Jack in a way that said 'I think you're crazy, but I'll humor you, you lunatic. Just don't steal my screwdriver.' "AIXLANA! I'VE GOT TREATS!" He yelled at the kitchen door, assuming she resided within, since Jack looked in that direction before.

Aixlana screeched. "UM, I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!" The sound of her skittering around could be heard, along with a couple slamming doors and banging noises.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes at the door. "What are you doing in there?"

"N-NOTHING! I'LL BE OUT IN JUST A SEC!" Another door slammed, and she cursed.

"Oh really?" The Doctor put one hand on his hip.

"YEAH, REALLY, 'KAY? THANKS." A skidding noise, then another door slam.

The Doctor shook his head, by now used to things being not-so-peaceful when Aixlana was around. As his head swung to the right, he spotted something that made the well-oiled cogs in his head turn. "That's not how that was when I left." He frowned. "I specifically remember the doors being shut..." He took a step forward, and Aixlana shot into the room, sliding past the machine and shutting the doors as her socks glided across the floor. When she hit the wall, she pushed back against it and slide back in the direction she came from, pushing the door open to the kitchen and disappearing into it again.

"Aixlana.... what did you do?" The Doctor glared at the door now.

More banging noises sounded, some mewling following. "WHAT? I'M SORRY. I CAN'T QUITE HEAR YOU, DOCTOR."

The Doctor frowned, glancing at Jack and Margaret, the former just smiling while the latter crossed her arms. "I don't believe you." His eyes shifted back to the door.

"SORRY! STILL CAN'T HEAR- hey! Come back here, Xallos! YOU!"

"Xallos?" The Doctor started. "Who's that?"

"NO ONE! IT'S UM...." Another door slammed and a protesting 'MEW!' was heard. "I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU, SORRY!"

The Doctor set the 'ice cream' down on the table again. "Oh, I don't think so." He walked over to the machine and pulled out his glasses, giving it a once-over. "We'll just find out what you were up to." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and inspected it, holding the end over the controls. When it hovered over the lever, there was a loud ZZZTKKKRRRRZZZT!! and a flash of light and a large cloud of smoke covered the room.

Jack fanned in front of his face, coughing. "You okay, hun?" He waved his hand around his front pocket.

"Fine." Margaret snipped, a small cough escaping her.

"What was that?" The Doctor asked. "Ouch!"

"You said it. Quite a shock to the system." Said... The... Doctor...as well.

"...What?" Was all Margaret could manage to say.

"Well... Holy..." Jack's face was the pure definition of shocked.

"What? Who are you!?" The Doctor asked, voice frantic.

Small fans on the ceiling kicked in, blowing the smoke away. Explosions of smoke were a daily occurrence upon the TARDIS... enough to get exhaust fans installed, at least. The machine was emitting green sparks near the lever, a large gash through the metal. And in front of it sat two Doctors.

"I'm The Doctor! Who are you?" Asked the Doctor on the right.

The one on the left gasped. "Are not!" He pointed to his own chest. "I am!"

"No way!" The one on the right frowned.

The door to the kitchen slammed open, Aixlana carrying three kittens in her arms while two flanked her sides. "What just happened!? Is everyone okay? I heard a BANG and then a BOOM, and I smelled smoke and hear the fans come on, and-" She stopped short, spying the two men on the floor. Her eyes widened with shock. She almost dropped the kittens in her arms.

"Yes, way! Don't start with me, Clone!" The Doctor on the left stuffed his glasses in his pocket with a huff and stood, the one on the right following suit.

"What. The. Hell." Aixlana shook her head. "WHAT. THE. HELL?" She set the cats down again, afraid she was going to drop them, and rubbed her eyes, blinked, and shook her head again.

"I was just trying to figure out what Aixlana had done, and the there was... OH." The Right Doctor looked back to the machine, which had decided it was in a particularly colorful mood today, and had switched to spitting out purple sparks.

"OH." The Left Doctor agreed.

They both turned to Aixlana. "What did you do?" They chorused.

Aixlana shrugged, putting on her most innocent smile. "Nothing?" She giggled. They frowned further. "As much as I love any dreams involving two Doctors, what the HELL went down while I was wrangling the- I MEAN, NOTHING WAS BEHIND THAT DOOR." She snapped her jaw shut.

Margaret narrowed her eyes and decided it was time for payback for the kitten attacks. "Hey, Aixlana?" She turned to Margaret. "What would that happen to be at your feet?"

Aixlana didn't spare a blink with her response. "Nothing. Unless you're referring to the reason I'll be tying you up and locking you in Jack's underwear drawer later."

Jack's smile could have lit up and galaxy. "Yes, please?"

But Margaret flinched and continued. "Say, Doctor...s... Will you be willing to deter Aixlana's plotting if I divulge certain _information_ on her previous actions?"

"You wouldn't **dare**. _I'll wound you. I swear I will_." She hissed at Margaret.

"Oh, I don't need you to tell me. I know what she was up to." The Left Doctor looked at Aixlana's feet.

"No you don't! I wasn't up to anything! Therefore there is no knowing, since the was no doing! So you don't know what I was up to, since I was up to nothing! I wasn't even up to nothing! I was up to less than nothing! Why, I was-"

The Right Doctor interrupted. "You cloned your innocent little cat! I see what you did there!" He pointed at the kittens.

"Bunch of geniuses around here." Margaret rolled her eyes.

"What did I tell you about touching things I told you not to!?" The Left Doctor shook his finger at her.

Aixlana looked around for a moment, then picked up her kittens and bolted for the door.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" The Left Doctor said.

"WHAT HE SAID!" The Right Doctor pointed.

She froze in mid-step, turning slowly towards them. "Um, Oh..." She grinned nervously. "Myyyyy, Doctor, er, Doctor_S,_ you sure do look... fine today? Eh heh?" She fluttered her eyelashes.

They were both not amused. Jack, however, had to put his fist in his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"Damn." She muttered. "That always works for Daddy when _he's_ in trouble."

The Left Doctor waved his arms. "Why would you go and do something I specifically told you not to do?"

She wrung her hands, biting her lip. "Because... because... because they're so cute!" She held them out for them to see, and as if the kittens could understand, they smiled and mewed at the Doctors. "How could you deny these little adorable faces!?" She pouted.

"That as it may be, I still told you not to touch it. And _now_ look what's happened." The Right Doctor put a hand to his forehead.

Aixlana grinned cheekily. "Well, I'm not complaining. I think for me, this has turned into a **Win/Win/Win** situation."

Jack, at this, let out a loud guffaw, frightening the kittens, who all jumped out of Aixlana's arms.

"Aixlana, I'm serious. What are we going to do with him?" He held out his hand to motion at the Right Doctor.

The Right Doctor frowned at the Left Doctor, hands on his hips. "Hey, I'M the real one!"

She walked over to them, circling them once. "Oh, Doctor, I'm sure I could think of _something_ the three of us could do together." She draped her arms over the Right Doctor. The Left Doctor frowned profusely.

The Right Doctor... blushed. "Ah, well. Aixlana..."

"Yes, Doctor?" She purred at him, trailing her index finer along the line of his jaw.

The Left Doctor let out a huff of air through his nose that distinctly resembled a bull when angry.

The Right Doctor blushed more, a small smile growing on his features.

"Hold on a moment..." Margaret furrowed her brow in confusion.

Aixlana smiled wider. "So what was it that you were saying Doctor?" She grinned at the Right Doctor.

"This makes no sense... What is going on in the universe? The Doctor not rejecting advances?" Jack shook his head, nonplussed.

The Right Doctor made a motion that the fangirls have aptly named "glomped," smiling like the cat that caught the proverbial canary. "Aixlana, I love you!"

The Left Doctor jumped at the statement, sputtering. "W-W-WHAT?"

"Huh." Margaret gave as her input, proving that she was a genius as well.

Aixlana squealed. "I like this one!"

"What?" Jack restated the question for about the tenth time that day.

"What... W..What are you doing!? Get off of her!" The Left Doctor moved to push them apart, but the Right Doctor stuck his tongue out at him and side-stepped him.

"Noooooooo. She's mine." He hugged her closer.

"I really..." Aixlana smiled in a child-like way, "Don't mind at all." Then she made a smirk that would make her Uncle Marluxia proud. All those classes really paid off.

"I act nothing like that! How are you a clone of me!?" He looked at Aixlana and pointed at her smirk. "And QUIT THAT."

Aixlana continued to smile like her Uncle. "Cut what out? I'm not doing anything!" Her smile grew wider.

"Alright." Margaret closed her eyes, then opened them again. "This makes absolutely no sense. Unless, however, that he," she pointed at the Right Doctor, "Is a clone created by the machine in response to the real one," she pointed at the Left Doctor, "prodding it with his screwdriver while it was still cooling down from the last function. And thus, we get David."

"David?" Jack asked her.

"I thought it suited him." She shrugged.

"Don't give **it** a name! We have to find out how to fix this!" The Doctor narrowed his eyes.

David didn't move from his spot, still holding onto Aixlana, who reverted her smile to a grin. "It's a cute name! You like David, don't you?"

"I would've rather you gave it to me, but I think it's a wonderful name!" He knelt down, looking up at Aixlana, and her eyes widened, and The Doctor ground his teeth. "Aixlana," She nodded at him, mouth forming a rigid line. "Can you remind me how to tie these shoes?" He pointed down at the laces, which were undone. "I seem to be a little fuddled in my brain..."

She laughed, holding a hand over her chest, an action that was completely instinctual. "Sure!" She helped him tie his lace, and they both stood up.

Jack let out the breath he was holding. "Dodged a bullet there! I thought he was going to-"

"What say you and me get married?" He grinned at her, hugging her closer still. "We'll be together like our shoelaces! Intertwined for eternity!"

"NO." It looked as if The Doctor wanted to stomp his foot, but of course he was above such childish actions.

"Awww, David! You're so sweet!" She glared at The Doctor. "And David is not an IT. He's a sweetheart, and technically a person. If I hear you call him an IT again, I'm going to rip out your intestines and choke you with them." She hugged David more as well. "Yes I will, won't I sweetie?"

Margaret almost fell from her perch in Jack's pocket. "That can't have just happened."

Jack looked thoughtful. "Do Time Lords even have intestines?"

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment, then angry. His mouth settled in a hard line, and his shoulders went rigid. "Fine. I'm just going to leave now. Have fun with that."

Aixlana glared at him. "FINE, I WILL."

The Doctor took one last look at her, and his eyes dulling with pain, then stalked to the door, and went outside, slamming it closed behind him.

Aixlana huffed. "Good riddance." She disentangled herself from David, still holding his hand.

Margaret shook her head in disbelief. "Aixlana, you do realize that you just engaged yourself to a clone and sent the man you really love out of his own home?"

"But I'm the real one!" David whined. "Why doesn't anyone listen to me?"

"Of course you are, honey." Aixlana squeezed his hand. He smiled at her. She waved her other hand at Margaret. "And so what!? He doesn't love me, and this is the next best thing! And you know, it might just be a NOBODY thing, but I tend to like _a little reciprocation on my affections_." She frowned. "Besides. He's a meanie-face anyways, isn't he, David?"

"YEP! Meanie-face." David smiled like a puppy. Or more aporpriate in this case, a kitten.

"Besides, he'll be back. It is his _home_, after all. He's not going to leave it behind." She 'humphed.'

Margaret uncrossed her arms, making a motion to slam her fist on the cloth of Jack's shirt. It didn't translate well. "So you don't care about getting the genuine article, just whatever you can get? That's quite interesting. And here I thought you truly cared about him. I guess not."

Aixlana let go of David's hand, pointing a threatening finger in Margaret's direction. "You say some bullshit like that again, and I'll sick FIVE kittens on you." She sighed and brushed some of the hair that had fallen in her face. "I'm just..." She looked down to the floor. "Tired. I'm tired, Margaret." Her eyes went back up to the other woman. "I'm tired of not being appreciated by him. Is that so wrong? To want to be appreciated? To be noticed? Cared for?"

Jack smiled sadly at Aixlana. "No, it's not. I know just how you feel, 'Lana."

Margaret ignored Jack. "Yes, it is wrong if you're going to jump at the imitation, while the real one stares you right in the face. It's not just his looks, Aixlana, and when you get that into your head, then you won't be happy with the imitation anymore." She looked down at her hands, which were clutching the fabric in front of her. "He does appreciate you. You just have to give him time."

David pouted. "Hey!"

Aixlana stomped her foot. "I've given him plenty of TIME." She hissed at Margaret, who glared right back at her. "And who're you to talk, you _ice-hearted midget?_ You don't even know what the **fuck** you're saying!"

"EXCUSE ME?" Margaret's fists shook with anger. "Well, at least I have a heart." Margaret snarled.

Suddenly, everything was in slow motion. Aixlana's eyes widened, mouth agape. Jack gasped, and David bit his lip. Then, everything sped up. Aixlana shot forward, plucked Margaret out of Jack's front pocket, opened a portal, and threw Margaret in it. Then all was still.

**Ting, ting, ting.**

**Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. **

Jack and David looked up at the ceiling.

"MARGARET?!" Jack screamed in a very feminine way.

Aixlana growled. "I'm going to my room." She turned away from Jack and David. "If you need, me, DON'T." Her stormy gait led her out of the room and disappearing behind a door.

David stood there, looking perplexed. "What just happened?"

"Aixlana just locked my future bride and mother of my children in the ceiling!" Jack's wide eyes stared at the ceiling, looking as if he were about to cry.

**TING, TING, TING, TING.**

"That's not very nice. I'll go talk to my fiance about treating people nicer." He smiled to himself, marching off in the direction of her room. He knocked on her door, calling, "Sweetie?"

"What?" Came Aixlana's reply from within.

"Can I talk to you about something?" He stood patiently in front of the door.

"Like?"

"Umm..." He fidgeted. "Howyoutreatpeople?"

There was a pause, and what he assumed was the crash of something being thrown across the room. "If this is about the Midget Bitch, she's staying in the ceiling." He could hear her frown through the door.

"That's not very nice."

A scoff came from her side. "She was nice? Did I miss the memo on 'How to Treat People 101?'"

David bit his lip again. "Well... you could talk about it instead of sealing her in the ceiling... Or yell about it."

"Yelling accomplishes nothing." Aixlana sighed. "Punishment is the only way to get your point across. That's what Daddy says. It might have been said in a creepy way to Papa that I'm still trying to scrub from my mind, but the point still stands."

David scratched his head. "I don't think that's true. Don't you still want to be friends with her, eventually? And you can't just 'punish' people. You're friends, so you shouldn't do things like that."

Aixlana opened the door, pouting. "But Daaaaviiiiid! She was mean to me! You don't think she should get away with that, do you?" She pulled on the sleeve of his jacket.

He blushed. "Ah, yes? I mean, no?" He shook his head. "You have to respect her, or you might lose that which she has for you."

Aixlana pouted more. "Oh, pooh, David. I have the entire GALAXY's respect. Losing one," She yelled at the ceiling, "LITTLE person's respect isn't that important." She turned back to him and smirked, tracing a finger down his chest.

David struggled to keep his composure. "That's... not.... nice."

She threw her hands up in the air. "But it's true! And she... she pulled a low blow!" Aixlana wiped the tears that started to form with her forearm. "She's the one-" She sniffled. "The one that's not nice!"

David patted her on the head. "Then why don't you tell her that, instead of shoving her somewhere that most likely doesn't have much air space?"

Aixlana sniffled again, looking up at him. "...I was going to let her out eventually..."

He hugged her, smiling. "S'okay. Just let her out, yeah? I'm sure Jack is in tears by now."

As if in answer, a loud wailing came from the other room.

"What a girl." Aixlana rolled her eyes.

"But that's Jack for you." David laughed.

Aixlana blew her nose into a ball of tissues she picked up, then sighed. "True." She looked back up at David, who raised his eyes to the ceiling. "Alright, fine...." She raised her hand in the air, made a portal, and Margaret dropped into her hand, looking very angry and confused.

"What in the-" She looked up at Aixlana. "Just what is your problem!?"

Aixlana growled in response. "Don't push it, shrimp." She turned to David. "Happy now?"

"Aixlana..."

She mumbled to herself, and then muttered, "Sorry... Margaret..." She frowned.

"Good girl." David kissed her on the cheek. Aixlana blushed and smoothed her hair down, flustered.

"Ah, I'm... sorry too?" Margaret narrowed one eye, not sure if it was a trick.

Aixlana curled a stand of hair around her finger, pointedly not looking at Margaret. She opened her mouth to say something, but a yell of "MARGARET?! WHAT'S WRONG!?! DID YOU DIE UP THERE? WHY WON'T YOU TAP AT ME!?" covered whatever came out. Her entire head twitched, eyes scrunching shut.

"If it makes up for anything, I _did_ get you out of the same room as Harkness." Aixlana shivered.

"That is true."

"Yeah," Another sob echoed out from Jack.

Aixlana ground her teeth. "This better make up for _a lot_." Margaret just rolled her eyes, and Aixlana put her hand to the floor. "So run along now."

"Pick me back up! The cats!" Margaret stepped onto Aixlana's boot, glancing around nervously.

"Oh, hush. They're in my room, wimp." She pushed Margaret off her boot with her index finger, causing her to trip and fall onto the floor. "Oops." She smiled apologetically when Margaret glared at her.

Margaret became aware of the presence behind her 2.5 seconds before it pounced on her. "AH!" Scuffy, the Doctor's cat, licked Margaret's face, purring in delight.

"Scuffy, no!" Aixlana picked her up, securing the cat in her arms while she tried to go back and play with her favorite toy. "Sorry. Forgot about her." She opened her door, set Scuffy down, and closed it again. "You're good now." She tried not to laugh at the disgruntled look on her friend's face.

"Right." She stalked off in the direction of her little room, grumbling about Demon Cats.

"So now that I've paid my debt to society, can I go back to my room?" Aixlana asked David.

He smiled at her. "Or...."

Aixlana quirked an eyebrow. "Or?"

He picked up her hand and kissed it. "Or we could go get married..." His smile turned hopeful.

She pursed her lips. "No. Bad David." She took her hand from him and flicked him lightly on the nose, shutting herself back in her room.

"But whyyyyyyyy?" David whined, pouting at the door.

"Because my fathers will **wound you severely** if we get married and don't tell them." She rolled her eyes, picking up Scuffy and petting her while the other kittens vied for her attention.

"Awwww."

"Besides, Jack's constant wailing is grating my ears. Would you be a dear and do something about that poor excuse for a man for me?" She winced at the noise from the other room.

Happy to do something for the object of his affections, David still pouted, but let out a small, "Fiiiiiiine." When he reached the distressed man, he was pulling a blowtorch out of the toolbox. David's mouth dropped open. "Jack, I don't think that's a good idea. First of all, Margaret isn't in the ceiling anymore; I convinced Aixlana to let her out. Second, if she were, you would definitely end up wounding someone if you tried to use that on the ceiling. Most likely yourself."

"....she's not up there anymore?" He set down the blowtorch, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Nope." David sat down on a bench, bored without Aixlana.

Jack walked up to him, shaking his shoulders. "Then where is she?"

David didn't look him in the eye. "I... don't know?" He smiled innocently.

"Whyyyyyyy?!" Jack lowered his head to David's shoulder, ready to start sobbing.

"She's in her room!" David blurted out, wanting to get Jack to stop blubbering for Aixlana, and to just plain get Jack away from him. Jack's head snapped up, smirk on his face. He winked at David. "AH! Don't tell her I told you!" Jack just waltzed off, yelling for Margaret.

"DAVID!!" Margaret screeched when she heard Jack coming.

The door to the TARDIS opened a crack, an eye peering about, then opened enough for a very thin person to step through, and the Doctor snuck in, walking behind David, who was twiddling his thumbs, not knowing what else to do. The Doctor tiptoed past Aixlana's door, very careful not to make a sound. When he got to Margaret's room, he was thankful for the normal scuffle within, forgetting about that _one little_ creaky floorboard...

The door to Aixlana's room slammed open, her head peeking out. "Great." The Doctor winced.

Aixlana narrowed her eyes at the Doctor before grinning in a manner that held no warmth, and yelling to Margaret, "SEE!? I told you he'd be back!"

Jack stepped out of Margaret's room, a very unhappy woman in his pocket. David walked over to the commotion, wanting to see his dear Aixlana.

The Doctor looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I, ah, just forgot my coat." When they didn't say anything, he continued. "I walked for two miles before I noticed I didn't have it. And it's snowing. I'll just, eh, get it and leave." The Doctor went off in the direction of his closet, and they all waited. After about 30 seconds, Margaret called out to him.

"It's by the door." Jack laughed at her comment, clearly enjoying the exchange.

"...Right." He came back toward them, looking embarrassed.

"Why leave?" Aixlana leaned against her door frame. "Are you going to let _me_ run you out of _your_ transportation?" She shrugged, smirking. "It's not like it matters or anything." She went back into her room.

Just as she was about to shut the door, the Doctor spoke up. "I'm glad you find this amusing, but I am not quite in that state. You have fun with the TARDIS. I'll be back when it's lest hostile."

David's mouth formed an 'o.' "Oh snap!"

"Shut up, will you?" The Doctor pointed at him.

"Fine! Just... run away! RUN AWAY LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO!" She slammed her door, and the kittens meowed loudly, upset their owner wasn't happy.

The Doctor took a step towards her door, yelling as well. "I'm not running away! I'm just taking a vacation while you get _hitched_!" He snarled the last word, venom dripping from his voice.

Her door slammed open. "Oh yeah?" She walked right up to him, staring him right in the eyes. "Well have fun on your vacation. I think I'll end mine. Take me home, RIGHT NOW." She punctuated her last two words with pokes of her finger at his chest.

"What?" He looked taken aback.

"Take me home right now, or I'm going to show you the wrath of a woman scorned. Hell hath no fury like it, _you know_?" She squinted her eyes at him, now centimeters from his face.

He just looked at her for a moment. "Fine." He pushed her shoulder aside, walking past her into the control room. He twisted some knobs, pushed some buttons, and the TARDIS did its usual tossing and turning. Aixlana, Jack and David held onto whatever was nearby, waiting out the movement. When it came to a stop, Aixlana straightened up, brushed her hair out of her face, then slammed her hand to the wall, opened up a portal, and walked into it, the space closing up behind her.

David looked heartbroken. "My love!"

The Doctor stood over the controls, eyes hidden. Jack walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Margaret spoke up before Jack could. "Aren't you going after her?"

The Doctor looked away from them. "Let her leave. It's not as if she cares about me following her anyways. She clearly wants to be alone." He started to his door.

"Look. Right now, I'm more worried about you. She has people to turn to, and you don't." Margaret called out.

The Doctor stopped. "But you have us!" Jack sounded confused.

"But he won't turn to us." Margaret spoke to his back. "If Aixlana hasn't made it in there, there's not chance we have. And by that I mean your heart, Doctor. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

Jack patted her on the head with his finger. "We're here for you, you know." He sighed. "Anytime you need us. I mean, Aixlana is most likely talking to her parents right now, and-"

They all froze. Margaret, usually the one for eloquence, found nothing to say, other than, "Shit."

Jack panicked. "Just go out there and talk to her first! Catch her before this turns into a disaster!"

The Doctor waved his arms. "She doesn't care! We should send _him _off there!" He motioned to David, who had paled to a very sickly white. "She agreed to marry _him_, so he should be the one to talk to her!"

"No she didn't." Jack looked at him.

"Yes, she did. She said 'yes' when he asked her, and I'm pretty sure, even though I don't quite know Nobody customs, that that constitutes an engagement." He grimaced.

"NO, she said," Margaret paused for a moment, closing her eyes, then Aixlana's voice came out of her mouth:

_"If I hear you call him an IT again, I'm going to rip out your intestines and choke you with them. Yes I will, won't I sweetie?"_

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again. They could practically hear the light bulb go off in his head.

David gasped. "NO!" His hands flew up to his mouth. "NO!"

"Yeah, now that I think about it, she never said yes to anything right after he asked her." Jack tapped a finger on the side of his head.

Margaret supplied, "And when I was going to my room, he asked her again, and she simply said 'no' and I heard the door shut. Therefore, none of your anger it justifiable, while hers is."

"And it explains why she's angry." They looked at Jack, who shrugged. "More than usual."

If the Doctor were one to swear, he would have let out a string of curses at that moment. But, being the peace-loving, let's-all-talk-this-over-while-eating-pie kind of guy, he did not. Instead, he just said, "Oh." He blinked, at looked up at them. "I'm incredibly thick, aren't I?"

Margaret nodded curtly, and Jack shrugged his shoulders in an "eh, what can you do?" gesture. David held his look of shock and hurt.

"So, go."

The Doctor took Margaret's advice and bolted, the door of the TARDIS swinging closed after him. David sat on the bench, a dejected look on his face. Jack patted his shoulder. "Better luck next time, man. Can't break true love."

David sighed. "At least I have the cats to play with…"

The Doctor was searching through the hallways of the Castle, meeting nothing on his quest except for some lesser nobodies, all who went to battle-ready when they saw him, then relaxed as the recognized who he was. He spotted Xakhar rounding a corner, and ran to catch up with him. "Xakhar!" He called, trying to get his attention before he portaled anywhere, not knowing that Xakhar, like his Papa, preferred to make use of the hundreds of stairs and doors in the castle instead of portaling. They were lonely, you know?

He turned, surprise evident on his face. "Mr. Doctor!" He halted his movement, waiting for the Doctor to catch up with him.

"How many times am I going to tell you to just call me 'Doctor'?" He asked.

Xakhar blushed, mumbling something about that not being polite.

"Never mind, then." He waved his hand. "Do you know where your sister is?"

Xakhar thought for a moment, biting his lip. "Ummm…"

The Doctor bounced on his heels, impatient. "It's kind of important that I see her _right now_, as I might have made her just the _slightest bit_ angry, and I'd _prefer_ not to get mauled by your parents when she tells them."

He looked up at the taller man. "Why? What did you say to Aixlana?"

The Doctor smiled, waving his hand again. "Nothing, nothing at all. Do you know where she is?"

"I think I saw her going to my dad's office…" Xakhar started.

"Thanks!" He ran off, not sure which way to go, but wanting to get there as soon as possible. Plus, he had this amazing knack for finding things. He should be there in no time.

"But… My dads are off on a mission…" Xakhar finished, mumbling at the empty space the Doctor had resided in. "Oh well. He'll find her."

The Doctor ran down his fourth hallway, huffing a bit. He was used to running, but not _to_ something. With his lifestyle, all the aliens and bad-guys, he was usually running _from_ them. It was a different kind of feeling. He felt... more scared. The thought of losing Aixlana was... Er, no... The thought of her fathers and their idea of 'retribution' was what he meant. Yes.

And so, because of that _fear_, he ran.

David stood up, walking around the kittens he was playing with moments before. "I should do something."

Margaret stopped arguing with Jack about things he was not allowed to say to her, and turned to him. "What are you planning on doing?"

David ran his hand through his hair, messing up its already 'mussed' look. "I don't know! But I can't just sit here!"

"Aixlana needs the Doctor right now." Jack tried to reason with him.

He balled his hands into fists, shaking his head once before looking back to the pair. "But I **AM** the Doctor! I may not be exactly what you're used to, but I **AM** him!"

Margaret looked taken aback. "He didn't mean-"

"I know what he meant." David flexed his fingers while he tried to keep his cool. "Both of you may think of me as a 'clone,' but I'm still a person. A person that's in love with Aixlana." He straightened up, a determined look in his eyes. "A person that isn't going to sit around here and twiddle his thumbs!" He bolted out the door, leaving Jack and Margaret with surprised faces and raised eyebrows.

"Well." Jack blinked. He grinned down at Margaret, then picked her up in his hand.

"What are you doing!?" She wiggled in his grip.

He set her down on his other hand, and she tottered in her little heels before she caught her balance. He brought the hand close to his face. "Now, we're going to have a nice little chat."

'Wonderful.' Margaret crossed her arms with a frown that Jack thought resembled a pout. But Margaret didn't do such things.

The Doctor rounded another corner of a hallway, for the third time in two weeks wishing that he could portal. He had passed a few members of The Organization on his way, but they were used to his running, and just waved with a smirk or a smile. He looked ahead and saw a towering doorway, intricate woodwork around the frame, glistening in white. The door was open, and he had the feeling that he knew why. He let himself smile in relief. Then ducked as a cup holding pencils was hurled out the door.

"Damn Papa... Off on a mission... See if he gets a birthday present!" Aixlana's voice drifted from inside the room.

The Doctor breathed out a large sigh, then stepped into the room.

It was... eccentric. The room could be called an office, but most people wouldn't have noticed the large desk in the corner, for the fact that the black and white decor made it seem like a zebra palace. Aixlana was standing before the stark striped desk, gripping the edge.

A small breath from the Doctor alerted her to his presence, and she whirled around, long white and blue hair smacking over a vase with a cluster of fake daisies. "Oh. It's you." She stood up straight and held up her chin, making to stroll out the door.

He reached for her arm as she passed him, and she pulled away before he could touch. "DON'T." She glared at him, and he could see the hurt behind her front of anger.

"Look, Aixlana, I'm sorry." He let his hand fall to his side.

"About what?" She spat. Her eyes narrowed. "About being an **ass**?"

He ran his hand through his hair in the same motion that David had moments before, though he didn't know it. "That was a misunderstanding on my part."

Aixlana laughed, and the Doctor winced. "Right. Over what?"

The Doctor looked away.

Aixlana blinked for a moment, then leaned forward. "Are you... blushing?" She raised an eyebrow. "Well, don't think acting like David will get you out of this." She returned to her glaring.

"That's not-!" He shut his mouth. He sighed again, then shook his head. "Look. I thought..." He trailed off, obviously embarrassed to say it out loud.

"You thought..." Aixlana waved her hand. "Spit it out."

"I thought that you had agreed to marry David." The Doctor said in a rush, averting his eyes.

Aixlana put her hands on her hips. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really!" He threw up his hands.

She laughed. "And why is that such a problem, _Doctor_?" She took a step in his direction at his name, the beginnings of a smirk tilting her lips. "What, with all the affection he gives me, and all."

He looked right at her, then thought better off it and resumed staring in the direction of the fuzzy zebra-print lamp in the corner. "He's..."

When he paused, she stepped into his line of vision. "Nice to me?" She asked.

"That's not what I mean!"

"Then what _do_ you mean, Doctor?" She took another step, and he had to force himself from taking one backward. "Because it seems to me that you're..." She paused to make sure he was listening, stepping a foot away from him. When he took a barely noticeable gulp, she smirked. "Jealous."

His eyes shot open wide. "Woah, woah. A lot of things I might be, but not jealous." He waved a hand in front of his face. "Time Lord, silly, crazy, and even ambidextrous, but not jealous." This time, he did take a step back.

Aixlana's eyes lost their gleam, and her face went neutral. "Right. Well, I'm just going to go to my room, then."

The Doctor had a flash of that _fear_, that _pain_, and made a decision. He'd had enough of it. He wouldn't let himself explain why, but he didn't want to see Aixlana with that look in her eyes. The look as if the light had gone out in them. And he didn't want to be the one that extinguished it, either. He was going to make this right, and he wasn't going to let her leave.

"Aixlana, wait!" He grabbed her arm, actually catching her by surprise, and hugged her to his chest.

Her eyes went as wide as the saucers for Luxord's teacups. "D-Doctor?" She squeaked.

"Look, I was jealous." He sighed, and a few strands of her hair fluttered. "I... I'm the real Doctor, okay? I... didn't want to be replaced." He let her go, and held her at arm's length. "I mean, our friendship is special, right?"

He smiled at her with his million watt smile, and she opened her mouth to argue, but closed it. She smiled softly back at him and chuckled. "Yeah. Special." She'd get another chance to bring this up later. Right now, she was just emotionally drained.

Suddenly, the door, which was already open, let us be reminded, banged against the wall. "Superior! The replicas!!! They have started to revolt! What-" Vexen stopped his words and movement, looking up at the two. "Oh. Yes. He's out on a mission." Vexen started to leave, but Aixlana's voice stopped him.

"Uncle Vexen! I have an idea..."

"You're such an amazing guy, David!"

"Yeah! I can't believe you almost had a girlfriend!"

"Tell us the story again!"

David laughed and waved his hands. "Guys, I already told you the story three times!" He looked at all the replicas of Vexen that swarmed around him.

"Well, we don't get out much." Said one. "That's why we were trying to overturn the Original."

"That's what we call Vexen!" Said one in the back.

"But now that you're here, you can be our leader!"

"Yeah!"

David was about to protest, but a chant of "Leader! Leader! Leader!" Drowned out anything he would have said. He smiled, and sighed. "FINE! FINE!" He laughed.

"That was such a good idea, Aixlana!" Jack told her as they walked the streets of Alsash, the planet of nothing but malls.

"Well, it solved two things at once! All I had to do was use my brain!" She walked ahead of the group, clasping her hands behind her back and skipping.

Margaret snorted from her spot on Jack's shoulder. "And wipe away the cobwebs to get to it."

Aixlana turned around, walking backwards, and stuck out her tongue. "You're lucky I'm in such a good mood. Otherwise I'd whip your tiny little ass."

"Redundant." Was Margaret's reply.

"Midget." Said Aixlana. She turned to the Doctor. "C'mon! There's a new shoe store over here, and I'm pretty sure I don't have enough pairs to cover the Pride Lands yet." She pointed to a tall store with a 'GRAND OPENING' sign.

The Doctor peered around the numerous boxes and bags he was already carrying. "Another one? But, Aixlana-"

"What was that, Doctor?" Aixlana stopped and put a hand to her ear. "You say that you're really sorry for being an ass and want to go to even more stores? Why, sure! Sounds like a splendid idea!"

The Doctor sighed. "Yeah. That's what I said."

"Then onward!" She marched into their thirty-second store that day.

Jack smirked. "Ah, the things you do for the one you lo-"

"Finish that, Jack, and I'll take away your wrist-strap."

"Yessir." He smirked at the Doctor, waggling his eyebrows.

"And why aren't you carrying any of these!?" The Doctor lifted an arm with twelve bags on it.

"Because I, sir," Jack smirked, "am not the pack mule." And with that, he went into the store as well.

The Doctor looked at the sign, then shook his head. "The things I do for-"

Aixlana poked her head out. "You coming!?"

The Doctor jumped, almost dropping some boxes. "Yeah, yeah." And he followed her in.

_**Soooooooooo. **_This is why I haven't written anything lately, my poor watchers. I love you guys. I've got PtF 3 in the works, I promise. I know..... I suck. It'll be up by the end of April.


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